


Did You Mean It?

by PaladinAlby



Series: Kreizloore One-Shots [4]
Category: The Alienist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Scene, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e03 Silver Smile, Fluff, JOHN NEEDS A HUG OKAY, Kissing, Laszlo is actually really loving when he can be, M/M, Maybe spoilers?, SARA IS BAE AND PERFECT, a lot of scenes where John is smiling because that man deserves to be happy, he's been through a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 14:23:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13591947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaladinAlby/pseuds/PaladinAlby
Summary: Alternate scene to when John says "I dont remember anything" and leaves.





	Did You Mean It?

**Author's Note:**

> So this could also be continuation of "Useless" because the events in it are addressed in this story. 
> 
> Also there was so much angst between these two in that new episode and i can't deal with that? Please just let them be happy?
> 
> [Unedited]
> 
> I do not own the characters nor the show

_‘God forsake them and their assumptions’_ John was hurriedly trying to leave the house as he righted his clothing, wanting nothing more than to sit down and have a glass of his strongest whiskey. But of course, life had another plan for him as he heard Laszlo shout for him. Coming to a stop with a frustrated sigh he turned towards the other man, giving him a look that only made Laszlo smile softly at him.

“Laszlo, I already told you twice, I don’t remember anything from last night so stop bugging me about it.” John said, his voice quiet but filled with venom. Laszlo just shook his head, reaching for Johns hand which he clasped in his own, leading the man into the dining room that was far away from the others.

“That’s not what I was going to ask.” Laszlo began, pulling out a chair for John to sit on. He walked over to a corner of the room where his alcohol sat, pouring a glass for his lover and handing it to him. John gratefully accepted it, taking a big gulp from it. Laszlo sat on the sit next to him, placing a warm hand on Johns knee, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into it. John looked at him with a now soft but tired gaze.

“Thank you.” John whispered, and Laszlo smiled brightly at him, allowing his lover to finish his drink before asking anything more.

“It’s always only took a glass of whiskey to calm you down.” John chuckled at his statement, not trying to deny it because Laszlo was correct. “Are you okay John?”

“Beyond not remembering what happened last night and feeling as if someone had attacked my body with a hammer, I’m fine.” He tried to think about what happened after entering the brothel, but his mind was completely blank and it was frustrating.

“Im sure you will remember soon.” Laszlo reassured.

There was a long moment of silence before John broke it.

“Did you mean it?” John looked into Laszlo eyes, only finding confusion in them. “Did you mean it when you said I may have already played my part?”

For a moment Laszlo was silent, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to remember when he said that. Once he had remembered he wanted to kick himself for being so rude to the man he loves. He once again clasped John’s hand in his own, holding it while staring into John’s eyes.

“No, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry, I should have never said such a thing. Is that why you refused a ride home?” Laszlo asked, placing his free hand on John’s shoulder, a gesture that was meant to comfort the man, but all Laszlo saw in his eyes was sadness.

“Yes. I was hurt by those words and couldn’t stand being around anyone at the time.” John could still feel the heartache from last night, could still feel the hurt.

“Why did you go to the brothel though?”

“I wanted to prove that I was still of use by gaining information.” He admitted quietly, looking down at his lap, gaze stuck on his hand holding Laszlo’s.

“Im terribly sorry darling, I didn’t mean to you hurt you the way I did.” John’s head shot up at the endearment, a small smile forming on his face.

“Did… did you just call me darling?” Laszlo raised his eyebrows in surprise, not anticipating that question.

“Yes… is that a problem?” The shorter man asked and immediately John shook his head, raising his free hand to cup the side of Laszlo’s face.

“No of course not, you’ve just never called me that before.” John whispered. For a moment, the two men stared into each other’s eyes, a silent understanding that Laszlo has been forgiven. Laszlo leaned forward and kissed John’s lips softly, squeezing the hand he’s holding for extra emotion.

“I love you John, please always remember that.” Laszlo said against his lips. John pulled away and rested his forehead against Laszlo’s, a bright smile on his face.

“I love you too, no matter how frustrated and angry you make me.” John whispered back to him and Laszlo chuckled, planting a second kiss onto John’s lips.

Neither of them noticed the figure of one Sara Howard standing in the doorway, watching them in curiosity but not willing to disrupt their moment. When the two finally pulled away from each other, she cleared her throat, making the two men jump out of their seats in turn to her in surprise. Sara reached for the door and closed it, walking over to the two men.

“Sara, I… we…” John was trying to say something, but his mind couldn’t find anything to say so he decided to snap his mouth shut, looking at Laszlo in fear.

“Miss Howard, we would greatly appreciate it if you kept what you saw between us. No one needs to know about this.” Laszlo said, staring at her, pleading her to keep quiet with his eyes.

“You both needn’t worry, I won’t say a thing to anyone. However, I must suggest next time you both decide to uh have a moment, close the door and maybe lock it.” Sara assured them, smiling at them both. John released a heavy breath, feeling his body relax.

“Thank you, Sara.” John said, giving her a tiny smile.

“There’s no need to thank me. If you don’t mind me asking how long have you two been together?” She asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

“Well uh I told you that me and Laszlo have known each other ever since we attended Harvard together. This all started back then.” John answered, feeling relieved when she smiled at the admission.

“A long time then. Well, I shall leave you two to it then.” She said before taking her leave, closing the door behind her.

“Bloody hell.” John breathed out, sitting in his seat again.

“Well, it could’ve been worse.” Laszlo murmured, and John made noise in agreement, leaning into the hand that rubbed his back.

 _‘At least we don’t have to hide around her anymore’_ John thought, a small smile forming on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to Sara to find out about their relationships because it works well with my next one, so from now on Sara will be in the know of their relationship in my fics :)


End file.
